One body, many souls Indivisible, so I'm told Half man, half Steppenwolf Indivisible, so I'm told And if you feel nothing is real Look for the reflection of the moon On some water far below One body, many souls Indivisible, so I'm told Half man, half Steppenwolf Indivisible, so I'm told And when you know nothing's for sure Look for unfamiliar constellations On the ceiling of your mind Some words are better left unsaid You keep your crimes inside your head I'm the projector, I am the screen I will deliver you a dream So just let go of all your thoughts And please turn all resistance off I'll be your space and I'll be your time We'll turn all your thoughts to crimes

Trauma cat! Drama queen!

I had a pretty good relationship with Joshua But when he stopped being a good listener, I called it off My family never quite forgave me My friends, they never quite forgave me After the breakup, I was drinking whiskey heavily And going home with every pretty girl who'd look at me There's a time for misbehaving But I was swimming far beyond the point of saving It came over me like a wave Don't save me When finally I could emerge from my depraved pit My vision of the world had shed a layer of bullshit Thoughts resembled cars in traffic Problems suddenly seemed slapstick And though my time with Joshua is ancient history There are moments when his pearls of wisdom come to me My regrets are few and far between And though you'd think this might be one, I know the break was clean It came over me like a wave Don't save me What could I do? I knew I was in love with a ghost

Boston Aquarium, 2008 I was with my Uncle Len and my Aunt Marcy My cousins Bo and Jake and Little Nancy We were there to see the sharks and the manta rays And the ornamental seaweed Yes, that was all fine and good You could call it "an excusable American afternoon" But the day didn't start until we found ourselves at the centerfold A large tank that stood at the heart of the facility We sat ourselves on the vacant bench in front of it And what began as a quotidian bout of small talk and scalp itching Quickly sublimated into a series of full-body pangs so intensely arousing That just recounting this story now makes me forget I'm a man at all Anyway I remember looking up, and there it was That gleaming bronze placard that so elegantly read "Jellyfish" A curious word, at once one word and two "A compound," Nancy whispered, wise beyond her two years of age Then, a playful nudge from Uncle Len "Jellyfish," he chuckled. "You think there's such a thing as a peanut butter fish?" Aunt Marcy chimed in, "Do you think other cultures call them 'jamfish?'" And then Nancy said, "No, Mom, no, Dad, everyone calls them 'jellyfish'" And it's funny: I had never heard of a jellyfish before in my life I was maybe, what, 11? 16? I knew nothing about animals or basic science But I tell you, I was transfixed And when I narrowed my gaze through the glass onto one particular specimen I saw what could only be described as love and magic incarnate And the way that she moved, she undulated And the way that she glimmered She was pinkish-purplish-bluish-yellowish-greenish-brownish-reddish in hue She was every color in the world By then, I was standing on the bench My mouth agape Once again, Uncle Len turned to me and this time he said "Look how she swims. That, son, that is called dancing." And I had—I had never—that was a new word, too "Dance" Well, I couldn't stop staring Maybe legally it was ogling I stayed looking at her for the rest of our visit Even as we trudged out the exhibit through the exit gates and back home The jellyfish never left me Even after I'd left her So I made a vow In 10 years' time, I'd go to college, get a degree Find myself a big boy job Then pack up my bindle and hop a train car back to Boston To regale this creature with my credentials and claim her as my wife So that's what I did And when I reached the aquarium, I met the man at the front desk And I said to him, "Take me to the jellyfish" And he said, in between chews of his gum Between blows of his bubble He said with a slack jaw, "Oh, sorry. We don't have those anymore." I said, "What? How could you not have any?" "Well, they all died, and we haven't gotten another shipment yet, I don't know." I had no choice but to sling up my bindle and hop that train car back home Once there, I collapsed onto Uncle Len and Aunt Marcy's bed And when they awoke, they asked me what was wrong, but I told them "Nothing" And to go back to sleep In truth, so much was wrong I had made a decade-long commitment to celibacy for this organism and now I couldn't see her again But that's when I looked up to the ceiling To the glow-in-the-dark stars Len had glued there just weeks before And I thought, no, I knew She couldn't be dead She was boneless Brainless And I could almost see right through her She was the perfect mate, and nothing perfect ever dies You know, then As the flaccid light from those pale plastic stars lulled me into my own quaint slumber I felt armed with the confidence to answer the next day's, the next year's, the next lifetime's questions Which were "Do jellyfish go to Heaven?" Followed closely by "Is there a Heaven?" Well, I don't quite know

Give your mind to me Give your mind to me Give your mind to me Every day just drags on Every day, the same song If your life's to be like this Surely life is too long Here's a novel concept Just a small idea, son Lay your heavy burden at my feet and Give your mind to me Give your mind to me Give your mind to me I'll replace the sunshine when there is a ceiling I'll replace your passion with complacent feelings Open up your coffers, I'll fill them with fool's gold Don't disturb my mandate to command and control Some words are better left unsaid You keep your crimes inside your head I'm the projector, I am the screen I will deliver you a dream So just let go of all your thoughts And please turn all resistance off I'll be your space and I'll be your time We'll turn all your thoughts to crimes

Gonna lob a grenade your way 'Cause when I drop bombs I don't like to look you in the face And that's the game that we always play So, baby, don't complain about the meal that you find on your plate You've got your convictions And I've got my opinions You've got your religion And I've got my cynicism Gonna lob a grenade your way 'Cause when I drop bombs I don't like to look you in the face And that's the game that we always play So, baby, don't complain about the meal that you find on your plate You've got your news sources And I've got my thesaurus And we rage like Tyrannosaurus And we spook like deer in the forest Gonna lob a grenade your way 'Cause when I drop bombs I don't like to look you in the face And that's the game that we always play So, baby, don't complain about the meal that you find on your plate About the meal that you find on your plate About the meal that you find on your plate About the meal that you find on your plate

Sitting in the car while it rains I am drinking from a lava lamp Dreaming of murdering your friends With the calm of a— Boogeyman’s got his things in boxes on the porch He’s found another client and he’s headed up north You go where the work goes They turned our favorite lot into a diner We always thought the location was ideal I lay my head down on the wheel All while Good and evil have makeup sex in the hall Without you I’m a little less angry But I won’t forget it, no I don’t forget anything I’ve got an excellent memory Good and evil have makeup sex in the hall Without you I’m a little less angry But you don’t regret it, no You don’t regret anything You don’t Gray Ledge has really earned its name And well, I walk it like a vagabond Until it becomes another place That I don’t care about Moving in, got my things in boxes on the porch I’ll try to close the circle if you cut me off short This is the triumph of the real Meanwhile Good and evil have makeup sex in the hall Without you I’m a little less angry But I won’t forget it, no I don’t forget anything I’ve got an excellent memory Sounds primeval but they’re writhing up on the wall The infinite and infinitesimal And I might forget it, but I don’t regret anything I don’t Nothing is static now Grief is a staircase There is no zero Evil comes first Nothing is static now Grief is a staircase There is no zero Evil comes first

So we play a little game now Never wonder where the rules came from And we throw our little dice down But the dealer's already won They've been telling me to get with the program Since I was a child They scream and they shout I just can't believe these people content to live like sheep Following the crowd They say, "Gotta play the game to win it" But I'd rather just walk away They say, "Gotta play the game to win it" But I'd rather just walk away They've been telling me to get with the program Since I was a child They scream and they shout I just can't believe these people content to live like sheep Following the crowd I'mma set a fire deep inside the jail Never mind the bail This is an escape I'mma set a fire, burn this prison down Burn it to the ground Today And I don't care if everyone believes it Don't make it true Don't make it true

Honey, your heart is a hurricane Nothing but chaos and wind and rain From the outside looking in Honey, your soul is a cellar door Secret and safe as the ocean floor If you'd just go deeper in Got a piece of advice if you want it Don't listen anything Babylon says Stay focused, little one, because you're wanted By the undead The world you're running through is a gauntlet The house you're living in is haunted So pick your head up and be honest with yourself With yourself Standing by a pool that was made by a dam You gaze into your reflection and ask, "How in the Western world could I ever know who I am?" Honey, your heart is a hurricane Nothing but chaos and wind and rain From the outside looking in Honey, your soul is a cellar door Secret and safe as the ocean floor If you'd just go deeper in There's a time and a place for theatrics And I'm not talking about rabbit-in-the-hat tricks Free your mind before they come to extract it From your head The world you're running through is a gauntlet The house you're living in is haunted So pick your head up and be honest with yourself With yourself Standing by a pool that was made by a dam You gaze into your reflection and ask, "How in the Western world could I ever know who I am?"

Some summer somewhere A flock of schoolkids forms around a flagpole in prayer Thinking about their rights Asking that their god make them a pretty prom night That doesn't stop the wasp's assault Swoops down onto the shoulder of some unsuspecting psalm Singing, "I belong here, too!" Leaves his stinger there and flies from the invisible pew And in the courtyard out back Custodians duck out with their cigarettes Small talk about their trucks and their president A healthy "I don't give a fuck" as the yellowjacket Swoops down to meet the boot of the Janitor King Who stands unflinching and says "They're all freaks with wings That's all they are Those little things don't scare me off I've got a sting to show you all It's called 'living under the law" My own summer nightmare With June descending like a hornet on some pheromone tear Thinking every night Of all the times my mother told me it'll be alright That doesn't stop July's assault Crawls out from underneath the heel with very strange aplomb So steady as she goes But in my stupor, I'd have told you then that time didn't know Outside the room where you died They asked what you were like and I might've cried Some sister grabbed my hand, and with beady eyes Set her gaze upon my skull, and she proselytized Saying, "God protects our dead" and though the thought was nice If I saw an angel, I'd think They're all freaks with wings That's all they are Such pretty things won't get you far And yet on high, they sing, to send you off Or so the children pray under the cloth Amen Amen Amen Amen

I thought it all came to a cross But it turned into a circle When I started using green With a touch of orange and purple Like sunset over mountains With a forest in the distance It lowered my defenses Dissipated my resistance Zero's the inhale, one is the ex Do you think we come from intelligence? A formlessness took a nice deep breath Then exhaled into us, now it all makes sense Zero's the inhale, one is the ex Do you think we come from intelligence? Zeros and ones, yeah, zeros and ones This universe is a pair of lungs

I thought it all came to a cross but it turned into a circle When I started using green with a touch of orange and purple Like sunset over rock mountains with a forest in the distance It dissipated my resistance to truth, to flow To what I've always known in the recess of my soul In the darkness where I grow And so I let go of the burden I'd been bearing Of the mask that I'd been wearing It was such a heavy load To judge a thing on quality alone is a delusion Whether right or wrong, good or evil can't ever be proven You can point your finger, scream and shout And stay lost in the illusion Or sit quietly, watch your thoughts and feel the mountains moving This meditation is a blessing and provision To help us see beyond the falsehood of division And so the universe bestowed on us a vision Of a lung filled up to zero, turned to one in exhalation So here I sit and contemplate the might of this existence While something in me tries to qualify the world with such insistence Some say that all is nothing, some say that all is one Who speaks the truth? I seek the truth in everyone Within these bodies we must seek a clearer view If you zoom out far enough the galaxy's a molecule And if we look within ourselves, we're given yet another clue This expansion and contraction is a microcosm too You are the perfect self and yet you don't know what to do You seek a thousand goals and know not which one to pursue But don't forget that every river found the ocean blue I wonder on the way if every drop of water knew Your mind's stuck in a loop and is just endlessly repeating The fog you think you're stuck in is just something you're perceiving The wisdom of this world I can no longer find relief in The teachings of my wordless breath are all I can believe in